Bin 36 is a great American cuisine restaurant that holds an event about once a month called “Movies in the Loft”.  While dinner and a movie might be a little cliche, it is definitely a date that will occur at some point in your fresh new relationship.  If you’re going to do it, do it in style…

Instead of taking your crush out to dinner and cabbing your way to a movie theater, why not kill two birds with one stone?   These events have a 3 course meal coupled with some wine that will keep your belly’s pleased while your eyeballs are entertained.

They play classic movies, the two upcoming being ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner’ and ‘Bottle Shock’.

The next event is coming up on November 22nd, for more details click here.

Overall – 4/5 Stars

This leads to meeting many different kinds of people… tall, short, strange, beautiful, different races, religions, ethnicities, and so on…  Which helps us create a mental checklist of things we want and don’t want in a potential partner.

Straddling the line of staying in the game and being kicked to the curb, lies the deal-breakers.  With so many options, which breakers are valid, and which are part of your own neurosis?

The Core Checklist

These are the mainstay of your livelihood.  Whether its religion, family values, or perhaps even race, nothing is going to shake the roots of this tree.  Keep these values strong and do your best not to waver from them.  Dating is hard enough as it is without having huge looming back-breakers tracing your mind on a daily basis.

Even though one could be open minded, both parties must have their heads and hearts open in order for this to have a shot.

If she’s a hardcore Catholic, and he’s a practicing Muslim, realize that both of you aren’t going to be praying to the same forces when the Cubs are down by a run.  Like the wailing baby on an airplane, the core checklist is difficult to ignore, even if you blast your Ipod, you’re still killing your ear-drums.

The Adaptables

So she doesn’t like the savoring glory that is Taco Bell, and he’s Big Foot’s long lost cousin with that sweater he calls hair.  While these tribulations may be more annoying than the old lady’s purse that’s digging into your side on a packed El to work, you have to learn to let it sliiiiiiiide!  Give the situation a second glance before you execute your decision to kick them out the door.

Adaptables are called such because you can adapt to them!  Ease up and you may find that even if she’s a valley girl who says ‘like’ every other word, and he has excessively sweaty palms, that good could outweigh the bad.

You could even get used to it and find it to be one of the things you really enjoy about the other person.

The X-factors

“His nose hairs are scraping my face when we kiss.”

“She wears so much makeup, I feel like I’m dating Bozo the clown’s daughter.”

Neither of you are perfect, get over it.  The X-factors are the little things that can be adjusted over time.  While they may be glaring problems to kick it off, they’re usually more problems in your head than they are in reality.  If they chew with their mouth open, a disguised joke saying that food looks better after they’ve chewed it, and boom… problem solved.

Deal-breakers will always be part of the dating arena.  It’s a huge multi-headed beast which you must face on your journey.  If you don’t realize you’re being overdramatic, you could find yourself in a boat alone; missing that perfect soul that may exist… but is just a little disguised.

Don’t $hit where you eat.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water….  wait… that last one didn’t make any sense.

Everyone says that it is a terrible idea to date a co-worker.  Obvious reasons include if they go psycho on you, you have no where to hide.  Maybe it’ll change the work dynamic and make it terribly awkward for you and the rest of the office.

It could also end up putting your ‘feel goods’ in a vice if one of you gets promoted and has to deal with not only who wears the pants in the relationship, but now the office as well.

Even though it’s frowned upon, it happens all the time.  Spending hours upon hours a day with someone that you’re even mildly attracted to can make your mind wander to that dirty gutter that flows so freely.

If you do decide to venture down this much traveled path, just remember a few things:

Keep it discreet – Don’t be Ron Burgandy from Anchorman — Ron: Veronica Corningstone and I had sex, and now we are in LOVE!!  Did I say that loud?  Friend: Yeah, you pretty much yelled it.

Don’t be together at work - No one wants to be the third wheel… especially at work.  Keep your hands to yourself and keep the love notes and emails to a minimum.  Companies have the ability to monitor everything from phone calls to emails.

Keep your co-workers out of it – Having an issue because she won’t let you play golf this weekend?  Don’t air it out on your cube-mate.  The last thing you want is gossip, lies, and the entire water cooler talk to be about your relationship.  Talk to your non-work friends for advice.

If it ends, be mature – Don’t mold her stapler in Jello or fill her cube with styrofoam peanuts.  Act like it didn’t happen and get over it quickly.  Keying her car in the parking lot isn’t going to make her love you, so walk away…. just… walk away.

You’re at WORK - Focus… you can’t pay the bills by flirting your day away (I’ll leave any responses to this for another blog).

It’s such a natural progression that it’s something that it’s a bridge that everyone crosses at some point.

Regardless what people tell you, this is always going to occur, so just be careful if you do it.  Who knows, if all goes well, you guys could be the next Pam and Jim from the Office!

Which should you do?  What’s the better move?  Did you have to eat chili for lunch?  All valid questions… let’s take a closer peek.

Your group

Pro’s - You want to go where everyone knows your name.  Go ahead, sing that Cheers theme song in your head… you can curse me later.  Playing at home is much easier, you look comfortable and feel like a rock star.  Your friends will all take turns asking her questions, so you’ll get a feel for whether she’s the type to take the challenge head on and befriend everyone, or be the quiet wallflower waiting for you to hold her hand.  Either way, it’s a great way to find out a little more about her.

Con’s - Remember the story where you woke up naked in your friends bed between him and his girlfriend?  So do all of your buddies.  Your friends may start digging out stories about you that you may not want to be public knowledge.  Whether it’s the secret alcoholism or the Star Trek convention that you attended last weekend, it’s all fair game to them because they love you for it.  One on one time will most likely be kept to a minimum as well.

Her Group

Pro’s - You get to see the interaction between her and her friends.  Are they chill and want to play board games at Gurthrie’s?  Are they having a classy night at Martini Park?  Or are they joining the mayhem that’s known as the Hangge Uppe at 4am?  You’ll be able to tell a lot of different aspects of her personality by how she acts around her friends.

Con’s - You’re going into the belly of the beast without a weapon except the clothes on your back.  Her friends could grill you until you crack, so you’re going to have to play it cool.  Every one of her friends will be eyeing you up and down.  From the way you talk, walk, and dress, every aspect of you is under scrutiny to make sure you’re good enough for one of their own.  The fact that you have no comfortable shoulder to lean on (which is why you ALWAYS bring a friend) could be devestating if they start talking about shoes and nailpolish while you’re stuck in the corner staring at flickering ESPN highlights.

For the first group hangout session, always go for home court advantage.  Tell your buddies to can the skeletons for a little while longer and sit back and relax.  If you are forced to go into the lion’s den, make sure you bring a buddy along.  That way you have a solid ally in case they box you out early on.  Only if you’re a very social person who doesn’t mind being out numbered and juggling multiple personalities should you venture out alone.  Saddle up and ride smart!

This weeks date idea is cooking classes.

Let’s break it down:

Pro’s –

Intimate – Food can be extremely sensual in nature.  Using all your senses to make your meal, you’ll have all pistons firing at once.  Getting to know each other will also be a smooth dialogue with all the treats floating around.
Dinner date – This can knock out a good night together.  The two of you will go on a delightful tastebud rollercoaster throughout the evening, no additional planning necessary!
Chemistry test – The way you work together and converse can be a great sign on how well those love ingredients are mixing.

Con’s

No way out – If your date sucks, then you’re basically S.O.L.  This is when playing with your food becomes more than just a past time, it becomes your best friend.  By the way, doubling the heat of the oven does not mean you can half the time you throw it in there.
Expensive – While dinner, drinks, movies, etc can all add up to be the same.  Classes, drinks, and sometimes corkage fees can all add up quickly.

Cooking classes are overall a great date.  This would probably be best reserved after you’ve gone out at least a couple times, but either way, its a great way to spend an evening.  Roll up those sleeves and show Giada how its done!

Here are some places to check out for cooking classes in the city: Partiesthatcook, the Chopping Block, and Wooden Spoon.

Overall 4/5 stars

We could all use one of these days every now and then.  While that movie has plenty of date ideas scattered throughout (ball games, obnoxiously fancy restaurants, and doing a rendition of Danke Schoen on a float), the countless museums around Chicago are all possible date locale’s for that first time encounter.

Let’s break it down…

Pro’s

Conversation - Being the fine purveyor of art that you are, there will be plenty of conversation to help move the flow along for the date.  From the various sculptures, inscriptions on tablets, or even talking about how each painting is “made up of really, really, ridiculously, tiny little dots!”, each room you enter can bring about a brand new topic.

Culture - Compared to hanging out with each other and watching ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ or ‘America’s Got Talent’, moving through a museum will activate that little gray matter that rests inside that skull and both of you might learn something new.

Interaction - Some places, like the Shedd Aquarium or Chicago History Museum, will have small little stations where you can stop and use some interaction to learn or play around with a little history.  While this may not be your next daily ritual, every now and than it’s good to reconnect with the kid in all of us.

Con’s

Boring - Let’s face it, it’ll be difficult to make each other laugh to the point where you’re spitting up liquids.  Also, either party could completely hate museums because they aren’t the most stimulating and exciting places on earth.

Short amount of time - Depending on how fast you fly through, these museums can take an whole day to walk through, or as short as an hour depending on your attention span.  Make sure to have a backup venue to fly to next.

Slow Pace - The slow pace and quiet atmosphere can be a drag if there isn’t too much conversation flowing back and forth.  This can paint either of you as boring or non-interested.  Don’t take it out on each other, it could just be Goethe’s Faust summary that…zzzzzzzzzzzz…….

This is is a decent date that is good for killing some time during the day.  It’s always good to venture off into places that you may not visit on your own.  Just make sure to pack some personality so you’ll both be entertained while journeying your way through these mind morsels.  Here’s a list of museums around Chicago.

Overall 2/5 stars

Occasionally these lost souls have a way of coming back from the past to once again appear in that Recent Call list.  A friend recently asked me what it means when a guy she used to date or “hang out” with contacts you after a long period of radio silence.

That random phone call can have a few different meanings behind it.  A lot can be told by the time the call was placed.  For ease of consumption, let’s just throw them into two different categories.

The ‘Before 10PM’ and ‘After 10PM’ phone call.

The Before 10PM calls are usually innocent.  And by innocent I mean being just a call to catch up and see how life is rolling along or just a last ditch effort to try to genuinely rekindle the flames (which ticket was punched and departed w/the Titanic).  Who knows, maybe they want to venture down that road to being your ­opposite sex friend­.  Scrabble anyone?

The After 10PM calls are 95% all of one variety…  a late night stab in the dark to see if you want to play catch up on some old time fun.  Yes, I mean the infamous ‘booty-call’.

Your head may initially be in mass hysteria thinking ‘WTF?’, but this is the truth from everyone that I’ve conferred with about the verdict of this trial.  Usually this call is sparked by an emotional power outage from a bad breakup, one too many nights listening to Blister in the Sun by their lonesome, or that effervescent beverage known to all as alcohol.

Know the rules of engagement when fielding one of these potential ‘re-run’ calls.  Knowing the situation before you answer will always give you the upper hand.  Hang on a sec… my phone is ringing…

A birthday.

If only it were back in the good old days.  Gather all your friends for cake and ice cream, smack around a pinata filled with candy, and play some pin the tail on the donkey.  Even if you pinned that elusive donkey’s head, you still go home at the end of the day satisfied and smiling.

Now, its a delicate game of thin ice.  Too many marbles, and the house comes falling down.  Too few, and she’ll wonder if you’re even interested in playing the game.

Since you’re still playing the getting to know you game, buying her anything big and serious is out of the question.  Jewelry, clothing, or anything else too meaningful is a big risk.  You don’t want to come off as a desperate guy who is going to buy your way into her life.

Not only that, if you misfire on a meaningful gift, you have a chance of causing more damage than good.  No one uses things they don’t like, no matter the price tag.

Getting nothing or simply a card is also a no-no.  Ignoring the princess on her special day is no way to be her prince.  Her crown is going to be nice and shiny on this big day, so make sure you’re doing something to acknowledge its presence.

There is one key word that will help you through this: perishable. And no, I’m not talking about a bunch of bananas or a carton of milk.

Getting her presents like chocolates, flowers, or even a nice dinner is the best play in your arsenal.

Why perishable you ask?

The relationship is still new and you may not even be sure it is a relationship.  You want to get something that will brighten her day for the moment, firmly planting your flag that you’re wishing her an amazing day, then you’re allowing the buzz to wear off as the day rolls on.

By getting her a present that has a finite shelf-life, you’re not risking making the relationship seem long term right off the start, and you become the sweet charmer that’s thoughtful.  She also won’t look at the present two years from now and call you the chump she talked to for two weeks and bought her $200 worth of Victoria’s Secret effects.

Keep it simple, make it count, and most of all, make sure it lasts as long as Dennis Rodman on Celebrity Apprentice.

Oh, and don’t forget that card!

Even the city traffic camera’s are beginning to look suspicious…   what was that flash!?  Was that a ticket or just the next glamour shot for their shrine?

But before you change your name, move to China, and get a job to applying ‘Made in China’ stickers to the bottom of porcelain figurines, try these tips and see if you can shake them off your tail.

• Slowly increase the time between responses to calls and texts.  The longer time between, the better.  Slowly increase and proceed to complete the phase out.
• Fake a mental breakdown.  Tell them you can’t handle the serious relationship right now and use that old paper bag for a hyperventilating extravaganza.   If it’s not enough, start swatting at invisible flies.
• Get an opposite sex friend and plan a “date” for both at the same time.  Seeing that you can’t be trusted and that you are obviously playing the field, they’ll be more inclined to start carving someone else’s name into the side of trees.
• Been around the block?  Well now you have.  Tell that nut job that you’re the town trolley and the show’s not stopping anytime soon.  Clingers tend to flock towards the settlers.   A loose cannon like yourself would be too tall of an order to chase.

Break it to them gently, or rip it off like a band-aid.  Like the common cold, each clinger has its own mutated strand, so there isn’t unfortunately isn’t a pill that you can swallow to make them disappear.

Use these tactics… dodge, maneuver, and hold on to your hat!   Good luck!

“You know the name, all you have to do is type it in me and I will show you everything you need to know,” entices Google.  “Come on, you can even misspell the last name a little bit so you can tell a white lie and say you didn’t do it.  I’ll take it from there.  I have a ‘Did you mean…’ feature that works like a charm,” it beckons.

With technology providing the encyclopedia of the world–and now people– at your fingertips, the looming question arises before each and every date.  Should I or should I not… Google this person.

Now there are possible advantages and disadvantages to Googling someone before you go on a date with them.  Advantages include: having a leg up on a little history on the person, getting a taste for some of their hobbies and interests, and reviewing court records if they are notorious for urinating in public.

A disadvantage can be the fact that you’re ruining the fun of getting to know someone.  You might find out information you didn’t need to know, and you could have a biased view on the person before they have a chance to paint their own canvas.  Also, you have to then deal with the guilt of wondering whether or not you should disclose that you’ve Googled them.

Ultimately, if the person has shared their information on the internet, they’ve consciously done so (or have been forced by the law) and anything that is published on the web… is fair game.  Tell that devil on your shoulder that today’s his lucky day and he gets to dig in to the good stuff.   If you want to play the game true and like the good old days when you walked into a date with a blank slate, then get back in bed!  There’s nothing to see here… really… trust me…