The question has been asked many times over the ages.  Due to the amazing scenario if actually pulled off correctly, it can leave us perplexed, wishful, and sometimes even waking up in a room next to the very person to whom this article is referring: the opposite sex friend.

Many say it can’t be done, citing the inherent need to procreate that is hardwired in each and every one of us… men AND women.

The fact that one can very easily become attracted to someone after spending a large amount of time with them doesn’t help by adding fuel to the fire.  This is one of the major reasons why workplace flirting and banter often leads to wedding bands and white picket fences.

Well I’ll say it here folks – It CAN be done.  It just takes a few key moments and a mature confidence in order to pull off.  Follow these simple steps, and you could have that opposite sex ally in no time!

Step One – The point of sexual tension

This moment occurs fairly quickly after the pair meet.  When you begin to spend time with someone and start down the path of getting to know each other, one party is 99% of the time attracted to the other on some level.  One may genuinely want to be friends (sorry, not interested), while the other wants a little more.  This point occurs when the tension gets too great: a talk of one wanting the relationship to be more, one tries to make a move, or even a random hook-up session.  Once this is done, the path leads to the not interested partner saying they “just want to be friends” or the pair dating for awhile and eventually leading nowhere.   Now most times this is where the relationship ends, one party walks away frustrated, while the other can genuinely feel as if they’ve lost a good friend.

Step Two – Be mature and understand the situation

People date, people break up.  It’s as sure as death and taxes.  While of course this isn’t always the case, it will definitely happen to most people.  If you had a good time with the person and you mutually brought happiness to each other, understand that, and use it to both of your benefit.   Having an opposite friends is like having a spy on the opposing team.  They know more and can help you navigate the unknown intricacies of the opposite sex.  Once you realize that despite your wanting to be with the other person that it’s not going anywhere, step up and change your views to an actual friendship… just remember, this card remains in the hands of the person who initially wanted more.

Step Three – Build the friendship

Treat the opposite sex friend as if they were one of your old friends.  The important key here is to take it slow.  Start out with group activities to show that while you don’t want one on one time, you’re accepting them as a person and truly enjoy their company.  Girls, while the guy may not come with you to the salon to get his nails done, you could play wingman/wingwoman for each other on your night out with your friends.  Guys, asking her to watch the football game at your place while you get hammered with your boys may not be the ideal situation, but coming to your place to grill out on a nice afternoon with a big group is a smart innocent play.

There you have it, follow these steps as a guideline to kick off that friendship.  Remember, a friendship is very much like a relationship.

It involves trust, communication, the ability to share a bond, and taking time to grow.  You have to want the friendship to work if you expect it to.

What do you think?  Can it be done?